


With Naps Like These

by aces_low



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nap buddies, Napping, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 22:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11323407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_low/pseuds/aces_low
Summary: Luz and Joe become napping buddies. It's surprisingly more complicated than it oughta be.





	With Naps Like These

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by the ever amazing Elusive Frankie, always giving me prompts that I go way overboard with. It came when she was watching the Friends episode where Ross and Joey nap together.
> 
> This is not meant to be a reflection of the real men, the characters in this story are based on the HBO War series.

It’s starts off as an accident. Of course it does, nobody plans to nap on top of one of their best friends in the middle of the afternoon - at least not at first, anyway.

It happens because they had been high, and tired from the shitty weeks they’d had, and nothing good had been on TV, and none of their other friends were able to meet up with them at Luz’s place.

His cheek is pressed against something solid and warm, a soft material brushing against his skin. He digs his face in more, trying to chase the warmth and contentment that is slowly slipping away as he floats further and further away from unconsciousness.

Suddenly, the solid warmth beneath him moves, and he hears a soft groan above his head. The weight around his back shifts and tightens, making his eyes snap open and he looks up to meet Joe’s wide, startled eyes.

Luz reels up and back, trying to pull away from where he’d previously been attempting to cuddle down into Joe’s chest. Only, Joe’s arm is still around him and their legs are tangled up together, causing Joe to get pulled up with him as he goes. Luz’s frantic movement causes his shoulder to catch Joe in the clavicle, making him grunt slightly. Trying to over-correct, Luz just ends up launching himself off the couch entirely, banging his elbow on the coffee table, and hitting the floor with a dull thud.

“Are you ok?” Joe asks, rubbing at his chest.

“Ow.”

“C’mon, get back up.” Joe grabs Luz’s arm, the one with the hand that’s holding his newly injured elbow, and tugging him back onto the couch.

“Sorry,” Luz says, once he’s finally settled back in.

“For shoulder checking me, or for waking me up in the most violent way I’ve ever experienced?”

“Both?” he tries. “Also, for falling asleep on you.”

Joe has some humor behind his eyes when he says, “it’s ok, I don’t actually know who fell asleep first.”

Luz notices for the first time since waking up that Joe’s normally throaty voice is just that much more gravelly. He kind of wants to press his ear against him again, listen to the words rumble from his chest.

Joe has always been attractive, but seeing him first thing after waking up, softer and holding himself more loosely than he usually looks during the day, it’s leaving Luz just a little speechless.

He chews on his lip for a moment, feelings shy - a foreign sensation for him. Joe doesn’t seem to have anything to say either, but at least that’s common enough for him. So, Luz is pretty sure it falls on him to make this situation less awkward.

“Well, I guess we were both just really tired. No big deal, yeah?” he says, with a fairly convincing nonchalance that doesn’t match the squirming going on in his stomach.

Because, now that he’s settled down more, he’s remembering Joe’s strong arm around him, holding him close. His hard chest shouldn’t have made such a nice pillow, and yet Luz wants to press himself up against Joe again, at least to figure out what makes him so comfortable.

“Yeah,” Joe repeats.

He leaves soon after.

 

The next time it happens, it’s not an accident at all, though Luz tries to make it appear that way.

It’s been two weeks and things have been normal between the two of them. With easy joking and teasing, no mention of the afternoon where they’d napped together, to each other, and especially not the rest of their friends.

The only thing that’s changed is that Luz hasn’t had a decent nap since. He’s always been a pretty good sleeper, but now it takes forever for him to get comfortable, tossing and turning in his bed in a way he never used to. He even moved out to his couch one night, in a hope that it had just been his couch that had provided such a restful sleep. He had quickly learned that had not been the case, and had walked around with an ache in his back the following day.

By the second week, Luz knows he has to test his theory that Joe is just the perfect napping partner. He tries to be clever about it, not just inviting Joe over, but also Perconte, for a movie marathon. Knowing full well that Perconte will just bow out early, like he always does on movie days.

So, things go normally during the first movie, they all joke and argue and Joe tells Luz to shut up about a dozen times throughout, without actually doing anything about it.

Before they start the second movie, Perconte is already bored and decides to go home.

Luz plays it cool, doesn’t make his first move until after the movie has ended. He gets up to grab them both another drink, then sits down just a little closer than he’d been before.

“This is my least favorite one,” Joe says, as Luz presses play.

“Do you wanna watch something else?” Luz asks, playing coy. He knows Joe doesn’t like this movie, remembers how he fell asleep during it a couple years back when a group of them had been watching it.

He also knows Joe is a completionist.

“Nah, let’s finish it.”

So, they settle in and Luz watches from the corner of his eyes as Joe’s begin to droop. He slowly inches over every few minutes, getting closer and closer as the movie plays on. Luz is nearly leaning against Joe when he starts feeling the heaviness of his own lids, he doesn’t even wait to make sure Joe is asleep before it overtakes him.

Waking up together is much less violent this time around. Luz attempts to cuddle back into the warmth of Joe’s embrace, but Joe is awake and pushing Luz off him a little so that he can sit back up.

“I can’t believe we fell asleep like that again,” Joe says in his overly husky voice, rubbing a hand across his eyes to wake himself up a little more.

“Yeah,” Luz pretends to laugh. “I mean, it was a good nap though, so, no harm done.”

Joe turns his head to look at him straight on. His narrowed eyes seem to be scanning Luz’s brain, so he turns away a little, hoping Joe won’t figure out what he’s done.

No such luck. “Wait, did you trick me into napping with you again?” he asks, his eyes widen and he has the audacity to look scandalized.

Luz just lowers his head a little more.

“Oh my god.”

“C’mon, Joe. Tell me these last two naps haven’t been the best you ever had,” Luz insists, no longer hiding his guilt-ridden eyes.

“That’s not-” Joe cuts himself off with a huff, clearly unable to deny it.

The silent agreement emboldens Luz enough to stand up and say, “we should be nap buddies.”

Joe stands up from the couch as well and takes a step away.

“That’s not a thing.”

“It could be a thing. It could be a thing you and I do, it doesn’t have to be weird.”

“It’s already weird!” Joe exclaims, taking another step back away from Luz.

“Just...think about it?” Luz relents, knowing he’s probably not going to be able to convince Joe tonight.

Joe just ducks his head, says he’ll see him later, and makes a quick exit.

The next few weeks continue as normal, other than Joe being just a little more distant than usual. But Luz tries to convince himself that he’s just over-sensitive to it at the moment.

Luz makes subtle remarks and suggestions toward Joe about the idea of napping together again - as much as he can in front of the rest of their friends, as Joe seems to be busy whenever Luz asks him if he wants to do anything that’s just the two of them.

 

It gets almost to the point where Luz is ready to back off - he doesn’t want to lose one of his best friends over something like this - when Joe shows up at his doorstep, harried.

“Hey, Joe.” Luz is barely able to step out of the way of Joe barreling into Luz’s apartment. “What are -”

“How would it work?” Joe cuts him off, and begins pacing back and forth around Luz’s small living room.

“Uh.”

“The napping thing, how would it work?”

“Well, we’d both lay down and fall asleep?” Luz jokes, causing Joe to stop his pacing and scowl.

It’s the first-time Luz has really taken a look at Joe in these last few weeks and he can see that Joe’s eyes are slightly red, and there are bags under them.

“I mean, I dunno, I guess when one of us needs a good nap we let the other know. It doesn’t have to be weird, it’s just like we’re helping each other out like we would with anything else. We don’t have to tell anyone either. It can just be like we’re hanging out together...just unconscious...and cuddling.”

Joe frowns, and Luz is pretty sure that if Joe’s face could show a blush it would right about now, and he can’t help but smile at that thought.

“Don’t worry, Joe. I won’t get too handsy,” he says, wiggling his fingers and reaching out like he’s going to grab him.

Joe huffs and pulls away, but there’s a slight laugh hidden in that huff, so Luz knows he’s getting to him.

“You tired?” he asks.

Joe nods.

“Yeah, me too. Let’s just try it? If it’s awkward we can just stop and never mention it again.”

Letting out a long breath, Joe runs a hand over his neck as he eyes Luz’s couch almost longingly. Luz waits patiently for over a minute before Joe’s shoulders slump.

“Yeah, yeah let’s try it.”

Luz is pretty sure he deserves a medal for not jumping up and down and cheering. Instead, he just grins and grabs Joe’s arm, leading him the last few steps toward the couch. It takes him a few seconds to decide how they should do this, when he remembers they’d been sitting the first two times this has happened, so they may as well start there.

He pushes Joe down on the couch, then sits next to him. They maneuver their legs up and around each other, with Luz only elbowing Joe a handful of times as he situates himself between Joe and the back of the couch.

Once they’re settled into the position they have been waking up in, Luz rests his head on Joe’s chest, and tries to hide his grin as he listens to Joe’s elevated heartbeat.

It takes him a few seconds to realize that he’s not all that comfortable, not how he’s been before, when he notices that Joe is lying there as stiff as a board below him.

“You gotta relax.”

“I’m trying,” Joe argues, but he just clenches his jaw and holds his shoulders a little tighter.

“Well, first of all, move your arm, ya weirdo,” Luz tells him, pulling Joe’s arm down from where he’s been clinging to the back of the couch, so that his hand rests on Luz’s back.

He can feel the heat radiating from Joe’s hand onto his back and the warmth immediately spreads, making him rest a little more comfortably against Joe’s side.

“Now, do you want me to talk about my week?”

“Absolutely not.”

“So, Monday started out rough. I hit snooze on my alarm a few times, I guess, because I completely overslept.”

Luz talks about the inane details of his week for a few minutes before he realizes the body beneath him has gone slack, the arm around him holding him just a little bit closer.

“Joe?” Luz whispers.

“‘m listn’n’,” Joe mumbles, not opening his eyes as he hugs Luz just a little closer.

Luz smiles and rests his cheek against Joe’s chest again, sighing in contentment as he wraps his arm just a little tighter around Joe.

It continues like this for over a month. One of them will text the other ‘nap?’ and the other will figure out the earliest possible time they can get together. It becomes one of Luz’s favorite past times. He’s always enjoyed naps, but adding Joe into the mix has put his napping game on a whole new level.

It’s not even just napping, they start spending more time together, just the two of them, than they ever used to. Joe brings food sometimes when he comes over, he even makes them dinner one time. Or, Luz had been trying to make dinner, and Joe had opened the door to a gray cloud of smoke emanating from the kitchen, prompting him to take over.

They talk more, before and after their naps, and it’s starting to feel like it’s always been like this, the way they easily come together now.

Luz has chosen to keep his mouth shut about the times when he wakes up, slowly, sluggishly attempting to fall back into unconsciousness, and has felt Joe’s fingers running through his hair. Partially, because that soft touch often lulls him back to sleep again before he can say much of anything, but also because the few times he has stayed awake Joe will quickly remove his hand.

So, Luz keeps Joe’s secret that he’s tactile and affectionate, while Joe keeps Luz’s secret that he actually likes it.

And the one thing they don’t talk about is why they may eventually have to stop, or why neither of them may not want it to.

 

It all comes to a head when Lipton has to run by Luz’s apartment to pick up an old chair that Luz had given him. Luz completely forgets that fact, as well as the fact that Lipton has a spare key, when he invites Joe over for an early afternoon nap.

If it had just been Lipton, he probably would have opened the door, seen his two friends cuddling up on the couch, fast asleep, and ducked his head back out just as quickly. He would have gotten the chair later, and would have asked Luz about what was going on when no one else was around.

Unfortunately, Lip had brought along Skip and Malarkey to help.

By the time Luz and Joe wake up, with Skip’s huge smile beaming down at them, he and Malarkey have already taken a dozen pictures and sent them to all their friends.

Luz shouts when he sees Skip, and then Malarkey, and then a worried looking Lipton, standing in his living room. His shout wakes Joe up, who is quick to push Luz off him and jump off the couch, as though it’s on fire and he’s leaving Luz to burn by himself.

“ _ So _ ,” Skip starts, his grin never waning. “When did this all start?”

“It’s not-” Joe cuts himself off and just rubs the back of his neck.

Skip looks between them for a moment before throwing his hands up in the air.

“When were you guys gonna tell us you got together? This is great!”

“We’re not together,” Luz responds quickly.

“Have you guys been, uh, sleeping together for a while?” Lipton speaks up.

Joe groans. “We’re not sleeping together. I mean...technically we are, it’s just…”

“It’s just napping,” Luz jumps in to finish Joe’s thought.

“You guys...nap together?” Malarkey asks.

Luz nods. “Yeah, it’s not a big deal,” he says, much calmer than he feels at the moment. He just knows that Joe is probably mortified at their friends finding them like this, so he needs to do a huge amount of damage control here.

“So, you’re taking naps together,” Skip starts slowly, trying to wrap his mind around this concept. “But you’re not...together? Are you still dating other people?”

Luz scoffs and rolls his eyes. “If either of us started dating someone we’d obviously stop.”

“So, you admit it’s not something that just friends do?”

“Look, Joe and I can take naps together if we want, it doesn’t have to mean anything. We’re just friends, nothing’s changed between us,” he assures them, feeling good about his unwillingness to be shamed out of having a nap buddy.

He watches as Skip, Malarkey, and Lipton all raise their eyebrows and turn their gaze over to Joe, who has just shoved his hands in his pockets and doesn’t seem like he wants to be part of this conversation anymore. Luz narrows his eyes at him. With one angry rant Toye could easily shut Skip up about this, and yet he’s letting Luz speak for them both.

“Ok, I think we should get going,” Lip finally speaks up, reaching out to tap Skip on the arm, prompting him to follow along.

Malarkey tries to meet Joe’s eyes for a moment, but doesn’t argue when Lipton leads him over to the front door. Lipton shuts the door behind him after one more small, apologetic smile.

The room is quiet, and Joe and Luz don’t look at each other as they work through what they want to say.

“I think I should go too,” Joe finally lands on, taking a step toward the front door.

“No. You’re not leaving,” Luz says, his tone more serious than he normally uses.

“Wh-”

“No, Joe, we’re not letting our friends make us feel bad about how we choose to hang out with each other,” Luz insists.

“It’s not-”

“This is important. If we don’t let them get to us, we can do whatever we want. They don’t get to shame us out of doing something we enjoy.”

“You’re-”

“You like the napping, right?”

Joe just stares at him before Luz huffs in impatience.

“Right?”

“I don’t know, am I allowed to talk now or are you gonna just interrupt me again?” Joe asks, crossing his arms.

“Oh. Yeah, talk, as long as it’s not some bullshit about how you’re too embarrassed at the thought of our friends knowing that we like to take naps together so we have to stop.”

“I was just gonna say that you’re right. Plus, I think we can really fuck with their heads now that they do know about it,” Joe finally gets to say, a sly grin spreading across his face.

Luz absolutely lights up at Joe’s agreement.

“Hell yeah, now get back over here and finish cuddling with me.”

Joe shakes his head but can’t help his small chuckle, and doesn’t stop Luz from pulling him back down onto the couch.

 

Their friends knowing actually makes things easier. There’s still a fair amount of teasing every once in a while from some of them, especially when they fall asleep together when they’re in a group, wrapped around each other in whatever pocket of space they can find. But for the most part, no longer having to hide it takes a huge weight off their shoulders.

One voice that is suspiciously absent from their friend’s teasing is Bill’s. Luz had been prepared for Bill to give them the biggest helping of badgering about it, but he hadn’t said anything the first time Luz had seen him since the news broke, even while the rest of the guys had been getting their jabs in. Luz figures that he must have already got it all out of his system at Joe’s expense, or maybe Joe had just asked him to cool it.

But then, the first time Bill sees them actually cuddling, Luz is sure he’ll say something.

When Luz wakes up, stretching out against Joe’s side, his eyes meet Bill’s from across the room and Bill looks like he wants to speak, wants to say something to him, but before he can Liebgott speaks up.

“Oh look, one of the lovebirds is awake.”

Luz rolls his eyes but chuckles a little as he tries to inch his way out of where Joe is blocking him off.

“Fuck off, Lieb.”

“You’re really gonna keep this whole ‘we’re not dating’ thing up even though we all just had to experience the two of you all snuggled up on each other?” Liebgott asks.

“We’re not dating,” Luz insists, finally able to wiggle free from Joe’s hold. “Don’t be jealous just ‘cause Toye’s a better cuddler than you.”

Liebgott waves him off but mutters something under his breath about him having no idea how good of a cuddler he is.

Luz grins and his eyes meet Bill’s once again. Only, Bill doesn’t seem at all amused about this, in fact he looks to almost be glaring at Luz.

Before Luz can ask what his problem is, Joe stirs beside him, groaning as he stretches his body out as much as he can in the cramped space.

“And lovebird number two,” Liebgott says.

Joe just flips him off and turns on his side so he can see the TV better. Bill’s gaze is back on the TV as well, so Luz decides not to say anything.

It continues this way for weeks. Their friends, other than Bill, make a few jokes here and there, but they've slowly gotten used to seeing Luz and Joe cuddling up together at parties or just long, lazy afternoons that they all spend together.

Bill, for his part, continues to keep his mouth closed, at least about this one thing, and Luz continues to feel like Bill is mad at him.

 

New Year's Eve is when Luz finally gets his answer.

It's been a tradition among their friends since high school that they all go up to the Nixon Family cabin by the lake to celebrate.

As it goes every year, Luz still doesn't have anyone to kiss at midnight, but he still leads their friends in counting down to the new year and cheers along with them. He finds Joe across the room, looking over the heads of the couples who are still kissing in celebration, and he raises a glass in his direction, Joe mirrors him, then downs the rest of his champagne before turning to continue talking to Malarkey.

It's when it's past 3 am and Luz feels like the alcohol is about to knock him out for a good few hours, that he starts tugging on Joe's shirt.

"I'm tired," he says, grinning lazily up at Joe.

"Lemme just finish this game," Joe tells him, his own hooded eyes giving away that he's nearly as drunk as Luz is.

Joe is playing beer pong against Bill and Babe, with Malarkey as his teammate, and it looks like Joe and Malarkey are going to easily win it within the next few minutes, so Luz just shrugs and doesn't argue against waiting. He does, however, find himself resting his head against Joe's back, enjoying the warmth against his cheek, so he decides to wrap his arms around Joe's middle, so he can let Joe take on most of his weight as he rests.

He doesn't even notice that the guys have all stopped talking and joking around when Joe finally says, "uh, Luz I kinda have to take this shot."

"You're gonna do great," Luz slurs out, not moving at all, other than maybe squeezing Joe a little tighter.

He feels the beginning of Joe's chuckle forming and it makes Luz smile, wide and unabashed.

Joe's arm pulls up and his back shifts slightly as he makes his shot, with Luz’s weight holding him down, and Luz only knows it went in the cup because of Malarkey's loud 'whoop!' and the movement of Joe and Malarkey high-fiving.

Luz lets out his own small cheer for the team and takes just another moment to savor the feeling of hugging Joe, reminding himself that he’ll basically get to do that all night, before letting go.

“Alright, good job, team. Now let’s go to bed.”

“He doesn’t have to go with you.”

Luz blinks and looks over at Bill, realizing he’s the one who spoke.

“I-”

“Bill, don’t,” Joe says, then puts a hand on Luz’s arm. “C’mon.”

“You don’t have to go, if you want to stay up you can, ya know?”

“I want to go,” Joe insists, setting his jaw tight.

Bill scowls. “Sure ya do.”

This just reminds Luz of all the angry glares he’s been receiving from Bill over the last few weeks, and now he thinks he’s finally about to learn what they’re all about.

“Hey, what’s your problem with me, anyway?” Luz asks, stepping around Joe so he can come face to face with Guarnere, or at least face to face with a beer pong table between them.

Bill lets out a laugh that sounds like he thinks this is anything but humorous. “I’m glad you asked.”

“Hey, no, c’mon,” Joe says again, putting his arm around Luz’s middle and pulling him back a few steps.

“No, I wanna know,” Luz argues, attempting to fight against Joe’s hold, even though it’s pointless.

Instead he just looks over Joe’s shoulder. “You’ve had a stick up your ass about this ever since you found out about us. So, what’s your problem?”

Joe continues to drag Luz down the hallway, but Bill just follows. “Since when are you two an “us”? I thought you guys were “just friends” and it “doesn’t mean anything”,” Bill throws Luz’s words back in his face as if they’re some kind of insult.

“Yeah, so?” Luz is able to get out before Joe shoves him into the room they’d called dibs on earlier.

“How about you just get a fucking boyfriend, Luz? And leave Joe out of this,” Bill calls over Joe’s shoulder.

“Give it a rest, Bill,” Malarkey’s voice comes from outside the room, where Luz can’t see.

Joe stands in front of Bill and nearly growls as he says, “we’ll talk about this tomorrow,” before slamming the door in his face.

“What the  _ fuck _ is his problem?” Luz yells, hoping Guarnere will hear and charge into the room so they can really get to the bottom of why he’s so pissed off.

“Just forget it, he’s in a bad mood and he’s taking it out on you,” Joe says, leaning back against the door.

“No, no, this is about me, he’s mad at me for some reason. It’s like he thinks I’m using you. Is...am I?” Luz starts to deflate a little. “You’re cool with this arrangement still, right?”

Joe shrugs and looks down at his feet.

That brings Luz back down off the anger induced energy he’s been running on.

“Wait, do...do you want to stop?”

“No,” Joe says quickly, looking up at Luz. “No, I...let’s just go to sleep.”

Joe grabs Luz’s arm and pulls him toward the bed. Luz lets himself be manhandled as he sits on the bed and toes his shoes off, feeling the alcohol muddying up his head, making the edges fuzzy, too tired to keep the conversation going if Joe isn’t going to join in.

They’ve only slept together in an actual bed twice before, and it changes the way they position themselves. Regardless of what they’ve tried in the past, both times they’ve ending up spooning, with Luz as the little spoon and Joe blanketing Luz as much as he physically could.

Tonight though, Luz sticks himself to Joe’s front, clutching at Joe’s shirt and resting his head against Joe’s chest, wanting to hear the sound of his heartbeat.

“I don’t want to stop either,” Luz whispers against Joe’s chest.

Joe just rubs at his back for a few seconds and hugs him a little bit closer. “G’night, Luz.”

“Night, Joe.”

 

The next morning, Luz wakes up alone.

He shivers and pulls the blankets up over him a little more, trying to smash his head into the pillow hard enough in the hopes that the throbbing there will quiet down. Luz lays there for a few minutes, running his hand along the still slightly warm sheets from where Joe had been, when the overwhelming need for a glass of water and a cigarette finally overtake his desire to stay in bed forever.

He stumbles out into the main room, where half of his friends are laid out on the couches there, awake, but none seem to be in the mood for much talking. Buck and Dick are in the kitchen, cooking up a breakfast that Luz isn’t sure he’s going to be able to eat.

Luz swipes a lighter that’s been left on the table, he recognizes it as the one Perconte had stolen from some guy about a month ago, and is heading outside when he sees Joe and Bill. They’re leaning against the deck railing, looking out toward the water, and Luz can tell they’re talking.

He figures it must be about last night, from the set of their shoulders, and the low voices they’re clearly using. And Luz is suddenly much more in need of that glass of water than his cigarette.

 

Joe doesn’t say much to Luz that morning before he leaves with Bill and Babe, but he says they’ll talk soon, so Luz isn’t overly worried about whatever might be going on between them.

He’s also not all that concerned when later that day he texts Joe that he needs a nap and Joe doesn’t get back to him. He figures Joe probably already passed out as soon as he got home.

Even the next time he texts Joe with ‘nap?’ and Joe just says that he can’t, Luz doesn’t think too much of it, they’re not always available and Joe has had to pass a few times before without it meaning anything.

 

It’s when Joe doesn’t show up to a movie night, and all his friends joke about how Luz is in fact capable of staying awake during a movie, and how it must just be Joe that makes him so tired all the time, that he starts feeling like maybe something is wrong between them. It’s also the first time he’s realized that Bill hadn’t been the only one who had originally kept quiet about his feelings on Luz and Joe’s new arrangement.

Malarkey stays silent during their friend’s newest rounds of teasing, and it’s then that Luz realizes that Malarkey hadn’t really joined in on any of it before either. In fact, Malarkey almost looks uncomfortable anytime anyone brings up Joe’s name.

As everyone starts leaving for the night, Luz asks Malarkey if he’ll stay for a minute.

“Is something wrong with Joe?” he asks as soon as they’re alone.

“Not that I know of,” Malarkey says, but he’s avoiding Luz’s eyes so he knows something it up.

“Is this about what Bill said at New Years?”

Malarkey sighs. “Luz, I really don’t want to get in the middle of this shit. You and Joe are adults, you can do whatever you want. I’m not gonna judge either way.”

“That...doesn’t answer my question at all?”

“Fine, yeah it’s about New Years.”

“So, basically Guarnere has talked Joe into thinking I’m taking advantage of him?”

That makes Malarkey finally meet his eye. “What, no...that’s not...no one’s blaming you, Luz. We just want Joe to be happy.”

“And hanging out with me makes him unhappy?” Luz can’t believe that some of his own friends have been feeling like he’s somehow harmful to Joe.

“No...I...like I said, I don’t want to be involved in whatever is going on between the two of you okay? But…”

Luz raises an eyebrow, prompting Malarkey to continue.

“I don’t know if this’ll mean anything, but, I feel like maybe I should tell you that Joe didn’t come over tonight because he’s on a date. Bill and I set it up with a guy from my work.”

There’s a tightness in his stomach that Luz doesn’t fully understand, like someone has just grabbed his insides and started squeezing. Luz is aware that he’s never had quite that kind of reaction when he’s found out that any of his other friends were on dates.

“I...cool, that’s great,” Luz makes himself stutter out, because that’s what he’s supposed to say. That’s what he should say to that information. He shouldn’t be trying to swallow through a gigantic lump in his throat.

“Yeah?”

Luz shrugs, feeling like his shoulder is tied down by weights as he moves it up and down. “Sure, it’s been awhile since he’s dated anyone. Good for him.”

Malarkey seems almost disappointed in Luz’s supportiveness, but Luz thinks he did a pretty convincing job at faking it.

“Well then...good. I guess none of this matters anymore then.”

“What?”

“You and Joe and…” Malarkey waves a hand vaguely toward the couch. “Since you said once you guys started dating people you wouldn’t keep it up.”

Luz can’t seem to look away from the couch as Malarkey’s words sink in.

This isn’t how any of this was supposed to go. This was all just supposed to be a fun, surprisingly enjoyable way to take naps, but it had ended up being so much more than that.

Luz can’t stop thinking of all the moments before they’d fall asleep, talking and laughing about something that had happened to them during the week. And the almost domestic feel of Joe coming over, taking off his shoes and immediately walking into the kitchen to plate the food he’d brought with him for them to enjoy. And the quiet, lazy moments when they’d first wake up and Luz had felt safe and warm and happy. He’d somehow grown complacent with this arrangement, not thinking about how or why they’d eventually have to stop. It’s not just the napping he could be losing, he could be losing all of it, and probably most of Joe. That, more than anything, is the worst part of all of this.

“Can I go?” Malarkey asks, and Luz is finally able to pull his gaze back over to him to see the annoyed look on his face.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll...I’ll see ya.”

“Sure,” is all Malarkey says, walking out without a backward glance.

Luz would probably be more concerned about what he’s done to make Malarkey mad if his world hadn’t just been turned upside-down.

 

He can’t sleep that night. Luz wants to text Joe, ask him how his date went. He wants to ask him to come over, Luz wants to tell Joe that the thought of him out with another guy is sort of tearing up his insides, and they should probably discuss what that means. Instead, he just lays in bed, typing and deleting various texts that he’ll never actually send.

Over the next two weeks, Joe still responds to his texts, but they seem shorter, less engaged than before. He doesn’t mention his date at all, so Luz doesn’t ask.

It’s only when Luz tries to text ‘nap?’ again and Joe just responds with ‘can’t sorry,’ that Luz can really feel the divide that’s formed. It feels like everything has just ended without him even getting a say in the matter, or at least being told that it was ending, and he has no idea how to fix it. It’s not as though he can just stomp his foot and demand Joe keeps being his nap buddy. He doesn’t know what to do, all he knows is there’s a sense of loneliness that has settled inside his chest that he’s never really experienced before, and it’s making breathing just a little bit harder.

 

It’s been over a month since New Years, and Luz has only seen Joe twice, and not for any substantial amount of time. He also hasn’t seen Bill much either, so when he spots him across the bar, playing darts with a group of their friends, Luz knows he has to get some answers.

“Hey,” Luz shouts, in order to be heard over the noise of the bar, then pokes Bill for good measure.

“What, Luz?” Bill asks, not looking away from the dart board.

“Am I ever gonna get an apology for the bullshit you pulled on New Years?”

That gets Bill’s attention enough for him to turn his gaze to Luz, his jaw held tight and his eyes don’t show any sort of plan for an apology in the near future.

“What do I got to be sorry for?”

“Are you kidding me? You’ve been mean mugging me for the past month, then you give me shit about Joe and my relationship, as if it’s  _ any _ of your business, and now, Joe barely talks to me. And I have a real strong suspicion that has something to do with you. So, tell me,  _ Bill _ , what did I do to you to make you so mad at me?”

Bill looks around them for a moment, before landing his hard glare on Luz again.

“Yeah, Malarkey told me how you got all torn up about losing your nap buddy. Look around, Luz, there are plenty of people here, why not ask one of them to spoon with ya?”

That makes Luz glare right back, he’s fed up without whatever Bill’s problems is.

“So, it’s Joe, you have a problem with me and Joe.”

Bill doesn’t respond, he turns and begins walking away. But Luz isn’t in the mood for that right now, he’s in the mood to yell some more, so he follows him.

“Hey, I’m not done talking here,” he tries, but Bill doesn’t turn around, so Luz rushes up and shoves at Bill’s back, causing him to stumble forward a few steps.

Luz almost immediately regrets it as he watches Bill turn back to face him, his glare even more deadly now.

“I-” he starts, but before Bill can even step toward him, Buck and Babe have both made their way between them.

“Alright, guys. What seems to be the problem here?” Buck asks, throwing around his bright smile to ease some of the tension.

“No problem,” Bill says, holding up his hands. “I was just tellin’ Luz here that if he’s so curious about Joe’s whereabouts that he oughta go check on him. Though he might still be out on his date. I think he and that guy Malarkey set him up with are really hitting it off.”

Luz feels his insides twist and turn, a sour taste overtakes his tongue, and he’s only had one drink, so he knows that’s not what’s making him feel this way.

He tears his arm away from where Buck has grabbed him, stepping away from the small group.

His friends call after him, but he just throws a hand back in a short wave.

A few of the guys he walks past ask if he’s alright, and he just tells them he’s fine and he’s just going home for the night, that he’ll see them all later. He fakes one of his smiles and tells them he’s just tired, and promises to be the life of the party next time.

He shoves his hands into his coat pockets as he makes his way down the street. The cold bites at his cheeks and nose, but for the most part, it feels good on his overheated skin.

“Luz,” he hears a voice call from behind him, and if it were anyone else’s voice he’d throw on another smile and turn, but as it’s Bill calling after him he doesn’t waste the effort.

“Joe’s my best friend,” Bill yells, undeterred by Luz’s cold-shoulder.

He doesn’t know what to say to that, he knows that Joe and Bill are best friends, he’s not an idiot, so he keeps walking.

“I just want my friends to be happy,” Bill continues, causing Luz to scowl and duck his head a little more against the wind, wishing Bill would just leave him alone.

“But you’re my friend too.”

That makes Luz finally stop and turn back to look at Bill, who has apparently been walking after him in freezing cold weather without a coat.

He waits for Bill to finally catch up to him before he says, “wasn’t too sure about that anymore.”

Bill grimaces. “Yeah, well, sometimes I gotta be hard on you guys.”

“I don’t understand what you’re even talking about lately,” Luz says with a frown.

“Just,” Bill sighs. “Just tell Joe, ok? About how you’re feeling. Tell him.”

“He’s barely talking to me because you have apparently convinced him not to.

Bill rolls his eyes. “Yeah, like I could ever convince Joe not to talk to you. Just tell him.”

He takes a step back as Luz tries to process what it is that he want’s Luz to tell Joe.

“I gotta go, I’m freezin’ my balls off,” Bill says, walking backwards for a moment before turning and jogging the rest of the way back.

“Tell him!” he calls out again before disappearing back into the warmth of the bar.

 

Luz walks all the way home, going through Bill's behavior these last few months, putting the puzzle pieces of what he'd been saying together.

He can't sleep when he gets home, so he starts cleaning up his kitchen, he even puts some laundry away, then just paces around his living room for several minutes.

When all that is done, he still feels like his mind is running a thousand miles an hour, so he lays down on the couch, trying to calm himself down. Only, now his couch only reminds him of Joe. Of relaxed afternoons and quiet contentment.

It's not the loss of having a napping partner that's making his chest ache. It's the loss of Joe.

With that thought, he sits himself back up. He slips on his shoes and struggles to pull his arms through the sleeves of his coat, as he makes his way back out of his apartment again.

It's a little past one in the morning, and he could just send a text, but this is something he has to do in person. Right now.

 

It takes several minutes of knocking before Joe's door swings open to reveal a tousled and confused looking Joe.

"Luz, what?" Joe's scratchy voice mumbles out as he rubs a hand over his eyes.

"Oh, good, you're up," Luz jokes lightly, pushing past Joe to walking into his apartment.

"Not really," Joe argues lamely, still waking up and unable to really keep up with him.

Luz doesn't wait for Joe as he makes his way down the short hallway toward Joe's room.

"What's goin' on?" Joe asks, following after him.

Luz takes a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever he may find on the other side of the door before he pushes it open.

He lets out that big breath of relief when he sees Joe's room is empty.

"What the hell, Luz?" Joe asks, pulling him back a few steps.

Luz grins. "Sorry, I just had to make sure you hadn't just slept with some guy before I said what I wanted to say."

"What?"

"I know you went on a date tonight."

"Oh," Joe folds his arms and shrugs. "Yeah."

"Have you slept with him?"

Joe looks up and glares. "Not that it's any of your business, but no, I haven't."

"Are you gonna?"

Joe huffs. "Jesus, Luz, I don't know. You come over at 1:30 in the morning to talk about a guy I’m seeing? Go home. I'm going back to bed."

“Wait,” Luz follows Joe into his room and Joe turns, his dark, tired eyes are almost enough to make Luz take a step back, but he’s determined, so he stays strong.

“We never napped over here, why is that?” Luz asks, shying away from what he actually wants to ask.

Joe throws his hands up in the air. “I don’t know, we just didn’t.”

“And now we don’t do it at all, I guess.”

That makes Joe deflate, letting his arms fall back to his sides, and his eyes look down at the floor.

“I talked to Bill tonight,” Luz tells him, after standing in silence for over a minute. “Or, more like fought with Bill tonight.”

“Shit, I told him to leave you alone. I’ll talk to him again.”

“No, it’s ok. We worked it out.”

Joe just looks at him dubiously, but Luz doesn’t want to get into everything Bill had said.

“I’m tired,” Luz tells him, which is true. He hasn’t been sleeping well at all, mostly due to staying up tossing and turning over what has been going on between them. Currently, he’s running on adrenaline, so he doesn’t actually feel that tired, but he thinks Joe understands what he means.

Joe sighs and sits down at the edge of his bed.

“Luz,” he starts off, slowly, but Luz just cuts in again.

“No, it’s...I get it. I guess I just wish you’d told me that something was wrong instead of just...ending it.”

“I’m sorry. I should have…”

“Is he your boyfriend?” Luz asks, when Joe trails off, walking further into Joe’s room.

“What?”

“That guy that you’ve been seeing, is it serious?”

Joe looks up at him for a long few seconds, and Luz starts to feel that tightness forming in his chest again, before Joe just shakes his head.

"Good, that means I can do this and it won't be doubly awkward."

Joe furrows his brow, but Luz doesn't let him get a question out before he puts his hands on either side of Joe's face and presses his lips softly against Joe's.

He keeps it light, in case he's completely misread everything up to this point and Joe wants to push him away, but part of him wants to push harder, wants to kiss him deeper.

Joe moves his head back, slowly, not like he's trying to get too far away, and his eyes are wide. Luz has always liked Joe's eyes, but there's something about how big and dark they are in this moment that makes his heart skip an actual beat.

"Th-I...uh..." Joe stumbles around his words, trying to make sense of what Luz just did, and there's an almost innocent confusion that makes Luz chuckle.

"I was thinking maybe we could add stuff like that to our get togethers," Luz jokes, trying to be clever as he dances around the cheesy words he doesn't really want to say aloud.

Only, instead of Joe laughing or agreeing, or pulling him back into a kiss - which is really the option Luz had been hoping for - Joe just casts his eyes downward.

"So, you wanna be like…friends with benefits."

That startles Luz out of his giddy bubble after finally getting to kiss Joe after all this time, and he realizes that this is where Joe's head has been all along.

"Wh- no, Joe I..." he takes a deep breath and decides if ever there is a time to get embarrassingly honest it's now.

"I don't wanna just fuck you, Joe. I want you to be my boyfriend and shit."

Joe looks back up at him with those devastatingly big, brown eyes that Luz kind of just melts into it. “Really?”

"Yeah, really. I want that. I wanna do all that sappy bullshit, like...I wanna hold your hand, and kiss you on New Years and make our friends gag with how disgustingly cute we are. I wanna do all of it, or none of it, shit, Joe I don't care what we do, I just want it to be us. I don't...I don't want to sleep next to anyone else, and the thought of you with someone else makes me sick and I don't-"

He's cut off from his declaration as Joe grabs his shirt and pulls him down into another kiss. The angle is a little off, and they collide almost painfully, but neither of them care much as Joe grabs the back of Luz’s neck, fixing the angle and holding him tight. Luz crawls onto the bed, straddling Joe’s legs, and wrapping his arms around Joe’s shoulders as he tries to get himself as close as he possibly can.

They continue their zealous pace for a few minutes, and Luz feels almost like laughing into the kiss, if he weren’t so uninterested in pulling away.

Joe’s hands dig into his back, holding him tight and safe and that thought makes Luz a little less desperate in his kiss, slowing them back down until his kisses turn soft and light and he gradually moving back.

He gives Joe one last kiss before pulling away, Joe holds him fast for a moment, but then lets his arms fall to allow Luz to move.

“I woke you up, we can continue this later,” he says, stepping back down onto the floor.

“I’m not tired anymore,” Joe tries to argue, but his eyes are drooping again and almost immediately after he speaks he begins fighting off a yawn.

Luz grins. “Sure you’re not. Ok, for my first decree as your boyfriend, I say you have to go to sleep now.”

Joe looks unimpressed. “Yeah, that’s not really how any of this works.”

“Really?”

Though he rolls his eyes, Joe can’t hide the grin that also spreads across his face, so Luz just grins right back.

“Will you stay?” Joe asks, reaching out to Luz as he steps away.

Luz scoffs, toeing off his shoes and pulling his T-shirt over his head. “Right, like I’d ever pass up getting to sleep next to you.”

Joe ducks his head as his grin just gets wider, and Luz can’t help but kiss him one more time before pushing him back on the bed so that they can get settled.

“You better get used to this, buddy” Luz says, as he presses himself flush against Joe’s front, and Joe wraps his arms around him. “I’m gonna be invading even more of your sleep now.”

Joe hugs him tighter, kissing the top of his head. There’s a smile in his voice when he says, “good.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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